For those of you have encountered many a strange wang name (or named yours something special), please share it with us in the comments over at the Fellatrix site.

Dude. They teach this shit in Boy Scouts, and I’m sure they teach it in the marines: ALWAYS BE PREPARED. That means if you have a super-sized schlong, you buy super-sized condoms. DUH. You can’t make the square peg fit in the round hole either, Mr. Midvale School For the Gifted.

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As the sun set over the tops of buildings, I smiled at The Marine and told him, “I like your world. It’s fun. It’s easy.” He looked at me with confusion. “I mean I don’t take myself so seriously when I’m around you. It’s nice.” He smiled and squeezed my hand.

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And now I have to go to work? Seriously? I’m sorry Mr. Boss Man, but if you want me to get any work done you’re going to have to pry the cock out of my mouth and I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THAT YOU DON’T DO THAT. You know how animal mothers go all ape-shit crazy when someone goes after their young? I’M THAT WAY WITH COCK. LEAVE ME AND ALL THE PRETTY COCKS ALONE.

Last night I came home at two thirty in the morning with two perfectly defined hand prints on my ass. How can a girl expect to concentrate under these circumstances? IT CAN’T BE DONE.

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We ate our food and talked with the TV on in the background. The food in our bellies fed the fire in our bodies. We progressed from kissing to boobies (BOOBIES!! [something about the word just has to be yelped with glee]) to bare skin rubbing against bare skin.

On our second date I had sucked him off, and now it was time for The Marine to get his face down in my business.

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Maybe it’s the clutter, the messy kitchen, my two clit-blocking dogs, or maybe I just like to keep certain things private. Like fundamental parts of my personality.

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As Jazz Man made clear, not many girls feel that way. Last week he gave me a very long and impassioned speech on how much he has wanted to cum on a girl’s face, but has rarely been accommodated. I politely waited for him to finish talking (the poor guy obviously needed to vent), and then I said, “I’ll do my very best to make up for what you’ve been missing out on.”

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Not that I am complaining. Oh no no no. I am basking in the awesomeness of it all. Just, um, come back tomorrow after I’m done basking in the exhaustion. Until then, I have a date with my bed. It has been feeling neglected lately.

So yesterday I was delighted when he handed me a cute little box covered in cartoon elephants and lions. It said ANIMAL KINGDOM in bright letters across the box.

“What is it?” I asked, assuming it was a toy of some sort. Then I read in the corner “bubblegum flavored.”

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Wow. The Marine has the biggest cock I have ever seen in my life. When he pulled down his boxers my jaw dropped to the floor.

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The Marine lived in Vietnam years ago, so he actually knew what everything on the menu was beyond “chicken” and “noodle.” I told The Marine I trusted his taste and he could order whatever he thought was good. When the waitress came over The Marine started talking to her in Vietnamese, which impressed me, the sucker that I am for all things foreign. I liked that he chose a place for the authenticity and not the big prices, because the food he chose was excellent. I couldn’t identify a damn thing on the whole table, but that didn’t stop me. We ate and talked for hours.

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I’m going to keep this short because it’s two in the morning and I’m still recovering from my cold. Details to follow later. Here’s enough to keep you going until then:

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