You Know What’s Cheaper Than a Diaper Genie? CONDOMS.
My stomach surged as I turned the corner. I can’t believe I have to do this, I muttered in my head.
The first aisle was full of nothing but diapers. Red, teal, yellow packages every which way I looked. A confetti of poop bags. I blinked at them, willing the offending aisle to disappear from existence, or at least my memory.
The second aisle was full of bottles. Shelves and shelves of baby bottles. My stomach churned. I darted off for the third aisle, this one containing baby seats and carriers. Frantically I looked down at the tiny black and white pictures on the gift registry in my hand. It might as well have had pictures of a flux capacitor for all I knew.
FUCK. THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH WINE-XANAX CHASERS IN THE WORLD FOR THIS SHIT.
