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Suck on My Cowboy Boots, Black-and-Glitter Bitches

On Saturday night, I went to a party at some new swanky club. Considering I got laid off over a month ago, it took twice the normal amount of effort to look presentable because I had spent the last four days in the same pair of pajamas. That meant instead of shaving my legs like a normal girl, I had to dig out the beard trimmer from one of my many yet-to-be-unpacked boxes from when I moved. In July.

That’s right. Prepare yourself for all the awesome.

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18+ Only Please

I'm Vix, a 29 year-old Texan with 18 years of private education and 3 degrees. I'm trying to make a living as a sex/humor writer and entrepreneur. I'm sexy, funny, ugly, raw, and entirely real-- because there's more to me than being a blowjob queen.

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