The Over-Educated Nympho

Since I don’t want to start off the post by saying “Please don’t hate me,” instead I’ll lead with “Christmas is a time of good will toward your fellow man and not kicking my ass.” And now I’m holding out a package of seasonal Oreos to keep you from pummeling me with half-empty mugs of hot chocolate and giant Santa lawn ornaments.

Even though I’ve been busting my ass for weeks, I am still not done with my book. That means it won’t be printed in time for Christmas, and I know many of you were counting on these as presents.

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A week and a half ago I said I would be giving away ten free copies of my book to broke college students and other young people who can’t afford to buy one for themselves.

The following are people I selected randomly (and, um, a couple not so randomly):

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Several commenters have said they’re sick of hearing about the book and want to hear about my life. Well for the past couple weeks my book has been my life. As for my new boyfriend Tex, I don’t see him nearly as often as I would like because I’m always working. Luckily he is very understanding and therefore has not complained once.

I am still working on the book. I meant to be done over Thanksgiving but self-publishing a book is taking much longer than I thought it would. Then again I’m a dumbass who thought it would be as easy as copying and pasting a bunch of posts into a Microsoft Word document.

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One of my many brilliant readers suggested that I give away a free copy of my book, Through the Eyes of an Over-Educated Nympho, to one of the numerous poor college students out there who cannot afford a copy on their own. Since it was not that long ago I too was a poor college student (and then poor grad student), I feel for you. That means shipping is free too, even if you live all the way on the other freaking side of the world.

If you are interested in donating some cash so that I can give away additional copies (and win huge Awesome points), please scroll to the bottom of this post.

UPDATE Tuesday 8pm: Since there are so many people entering to win a free book (and so many of the comments break my heart), I am donating an additonal three books plus shipping. Thanks to the donations of some generous readers, that makes for a total of TEN BOOKS to give away. Winners will be posted a week from tomorrow, on Wednesday December 10th. Entries and donations will be open through December 9th.

Now please continue to be patient with me while I bust my ass to finish the book and send it off to the printers in time for Christmas.

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A reader had the great idea that I should post a sexy photo for every 100 copies I sell of my book, so check back in the next day or so for the first photo. Since I have my new boyfriend Tex to help out, I’ll be able to get much better pictures now that I’m not contorting myself in the closet mirror while trying to look sexy with a camera in hand.

As I get into the final days before sending my book to print, it’s important that I have an accurate count for bulk ordering. From an earlier poll it looked like 365 people wanted to buy at least one book each, but currently there are only 100 books total pre-ordered through Google Checkout and Paypal. I want to make sure that more people are planning to buy the book, otherwise I’ll change the number for my bulk order. Sorry to post another poll, but if you could take ten seconds to answer it would be very helpful:

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Pre-orders for my book of blog posts have started! Please order your books now so I can have an accurate count for my bulk order. Since so many readers have requested autographs, I’ll be selling/shipping books directly. Please note that this is a pre-order. The printed books won’t be ready for a couple more weeks, but I assure you I’ll start shipping them out as soon as I can.

Please read all ordering/shipping details before buying. You may use either Google Checkout (click “refresh” on your browser to update the shopping cart) or Paypal, both available at the bottom of the page.

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The proof copy of my book arrived today. The print company recommends printing at least one copy before the final version to check for formatting, cover quality, huge errors, etc. Last week I lay out the entire book and sent it in for printing even though it’s still far from being done (hence the reason I’ll be taking several vacation days off from work to finish this).

I did not expect the book to arrive so soon, so I was confused when our mail boy set a box down on my desk this afternoon. Upon seeing the print company’s name on the address label I squealed (on the inside, duh–I am a professional). I picked up the box and held it sweetly in my hands, as if having just been given a newborn. With my fingertips I stroked the top of the box and imagined the treasure inside.

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I know all I’ve been writing about lately is my book of blog posts, but duh that’s because that is all I’ve been doing when I’m not at work. And I may have spent a few long lunches at my work computer researching shipping costs and when the fuck you’re supposed to use a comma (I HATE THE BUGGERS! I refuse to use them unless absolutely/visually necessary). Anyhoodley-oo.

Now that I have a better idea of how long the book is (about 400 pages (okay FINE 432 pages at least count)), manufacturing costs, etc, it looks like paperbacks will be $15.00. Hardbacks with dust jacket will be $27.00. These prices take into account my upfront distribution cost and a tiny profit. Since I’m not entirely sold on the hardbacks, I want to make sure that there’s enough demand for them to go through with the additional distribution costs. Please humor me by answering another poll:

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As I move forward on self-publishing a book of blog posts, I’m getting into the details of formatting and production. If you wouldn’t mind taking a minute to answer a couple questions it would be very helpful:

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In honor of election day (and my man winning), tonight I’m posting the winners from the back cover blurb contest. For new readers out there, I am working very hard to self-publish a book of blog posts in time for the holiday season.

Thank you to everyone for your wonderful submissions. Many brought me to giggles, which made it that much harder to choose which ones to use. So rather than choose my favorite three as originally planned, I’m picking my favorite… ooh… nine. The bestest ones will be on the back cover and the rest will be inside the book. Whose will go where will remain a surprise until publication.

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I’m sure some of you are feeling frustrated that my writing has not been up to its usual level of spunk lately (cough cough suck my left one). I have been concentrating all my efforts on preparing to self-publish a book of blog posts in early December. Cover mock-ups, editing, figuring out shipping (much more complicated than I assumed, even with being able to click and print shipping labels myself), and writing new posts (chapters? pieces?) to add. It’s getting so involved that I dreamed about domestic and international shipping rates last night. Sadly, this is no exaggeration.

Lately I have been receiving lots of questions from readers about my book, which I will do my best to answer here.

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I spent fifteen hours today working on the book of blog posts I want to self-publish soon. I can’t go through half a quarter of that at the office without whining about how much my job bores me–but here? In spite of the knot between my shoulders and the 1″ thick stack of papers I need to edit, it was wonderful. It wasn’t work. I wish I could spend another fifteen hours on my book tomorrow, but of course there’s this pesky thing called a job I have to tend to.

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