Too Frustrated For Words
My brain feels broken. I don’t know if it’s depression catching up with me or ADD or what, but every time I tried to write this weekend, it felt like I was pulling my thoughts out from a pool of tar. It didn’t matter how hard I pulled, because even if I managed to pull it out, it was covered in a thick layer of swampy gunk. I could barely recognize anything I managed to free. I’m not supposed to be like this, and yet it happens over and over.
I know that you’re supposed to take shit like this one step at a time and yada yada it doesn’t have to be a problem if you don’t let it, but tell me–what the fuck are you supposed to do when you can’t take another step forward because you’ve hit a rock wall? Do you have any idea how scary it is to look up and up and up and see nothing but thousands of feet of rock?
Yes I know I know I’ll get through this because I always do–because I have to–but I feel like I’m running out of ways to make the next step. And the scary thing is it took me years to get this far. Now what?
