It’s Only a Coincidence That “Being on TV” Rhymes With “Anonymity”

Yesterday a production company contacted me about auditioning for an upcoming documentary/reality TV show. This tickled me pink, because I’m pretty sure that I am exactly NOT the type of person they want. They said they are looking for a “nympho character” which I’m assuming translates from TV speak to “slutty ho who’s had every STD and sexual anomaly from Ass-rot to Zucchini Zygote.” I am so not TV material. I will write for TV, but that is completely different. Even if I were interested in auditioning, I wouldn’t do it because I’d like to preserve this whole anonymity thing I’ve got going on. Not that the idea of a permanent black box or yellow smiley face superimposed on my body isn’t hugely amusing when it comes to trying to maneuver that thing for a blowjob.

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