When we were flying back from Mexico last week, I sat by the window and read a book I had borrowed from Favorite Coworker. As I flipped to a new page I found a note tucked away between the pages. You’re going to be my wife!! I love you XOXO. It must have been from Favorite Coworker’s new husband when they were still engaged.
I touched the note with the tip of my finger and smiled. It warmed my heart.
With the book still open in my lap I peered out the window of the airplane. I have always loved taking the window seat on flights, especially on long trips when you can watch the land change in color and terrain. The Marine had scoffed when it became apparent that I had assumed he would let me have the window seat on all four of our flights. On the outside I graciously offered to flip seats every other flight, but on the inside I pouted. The little girl in me didn’t want to share.
I watched the land slowly slip by thousands of feet below us. I stared out the window with the same wonderment I have had every time I’m in an airplane since I was a child. It amazed me that we were up here in a tiny little aircraft zipping across thousands of miles of land as if it’s no big deal. This view is probably something I will never see again. I will take many more trips in my life, and they will all be different. Sometimes I will see mountains, other times hills or plains or nothing but miles of ocean in every direction. The colors of the earth will change and I will get to see it from miles above. It is remarkable that people are able to experience this across the world every single day, and today I am lucky enough to be one of them.
As I turned my attention back to the book, my thoughts returned to the note I had found. I studied the curves of the lettering, the slant of the words across the torn piece of paper. I flipped it over. Why, in case there’s a secret to love written on the backside? My eyes teared up. I want that. I want someone who will write sweet little things like that for me one day, and when I discover one I will smile because I will know that I got it right.
I looked over at The Marine next to me. With every part of my body I felt a simple No.
Sure he’s nice and sweet and fun to fuck, but no. Just no. There is affection, but there is no love or future here.
I turned my head back toward the window. The land passed beneath us slowly. I wondered if we were still in Mexico or had crossed the Texas border yet. Everything looked so much prettier from this distance. I wished I could stay there forever, but you can only watch life slip by for so long.
One day I’ll get there. I sighed, and turned the page in my book.
____________
Continue reading about The Marine here.






rigg4d | 26-Aug-08 at 7:10 am | Permalink
Vix. You’re so full of surprises. This has to be one of your very best single serving post. Ever.
Yeah! You’ll get there. So will I, whe I find the good one too!
Thing Two | 26-Aug-08 at 8:20 am | Permalink
I thin, Vix, as much as we ALL seriously enjoy reading about the escapades, for yourself, it’s time to do something that will truly make you happy. While you were away it was the perfect opportunity to catch up on some archival posts, and every once in a while I’ll stumble across one that explains your desire for a someone-an everything person, as I put it. And for you, it’s going to be hard. Finding someone who has baggage that will fit in neatly with yours is a tough guy to find. But you’re not going to find him if the SuperDick is clouding your perspective… does that make sense?
I’m reminded of “The Wedding Singer’ when you expected him to share the window seat… basically, Vix, you need to find someone who would give you that seat every time, just because it makes YOU happy.
You’ll find him. I think that is just may be a littler toughter to look what with the SuperDick staring you in the face :).
Thing Two | 26-Aug-08 at 8:23 am | Permalink
I’m reading my comment again, and I have this to add:
You are worth it. There is someone out there for you who will match the nympho in sex drive, in witty sarcastic humor, with a pair of Superman boxers to match your Superwoman underpants to boot. I think you’re ready Vix. You have absolutely nothing to lose.
Alyse | 26-Aug-08 at 9:27 am | Permalink
Wow. I totally agree with you about the airplane window seat deal. Unfortunately I normally fly with my sister and we have to share.
Griff | 26-Aug-08 at 9:34 am | Permalink
Huh, sometimes when I read these it catches me by surprise, since most of your posts have a completely different tone, but these are some of the times I think we get to see side of you that’s not shown often.
Pacificman | 26-Aug-08 at 11:22 am | Permalink
This is the first post of yours I read. I will definitely be reading more.
Taoist Biker | 26-Aug-08 at 12:15 pm | Permalink
It’s easy to be cynical about relationships - if you’re over the age of 20 you’ve surely seen the ebb and flow in them before. But deep within us all there’s that little nugget of hope that keeps us looking, no matter how hard it gets.
Thanks for giving us a little snapshot of that hope.
Honey | 26-Aug-08 at 12:40 pm | Permalink
I think that how you’ll be able to tell if he’s the one is that he will love the window seat as much as you do, but you’ll be happy to go 50/50 with him, or even offer to let him have it more often. Little “fights” about who gets to be nicer are a sweet surprise.
V | 26-Aug-08 at 2:15 pm | Permalink
Finding old notes is one of my favorite things about picking up forlorn books. Not that yours was forlorn, but hopefully you know what I mean.
TAG | 26-Aug-08 at 4:11 pm | Permalink
VIX,
This post. Yes, this post right here, should be all the proof anyone ever needs if they question your writing skill.
Some will say:
“sure, she can write about sex, but that’s easy”
“Anybody can make a 3-some interesting. There is no way you can fuck that up.”
“Without a pen in one hand and a dildo in the other, she is lost.”
This post is proof anyone who says that is a moron. You rock.
Keep writing girl. The world is yours to take. Magic words that roll out of a writers pen can change everything. You’ve got the magic.
Hugs
TAG
SH | 26-Aug-08 at 5:15 pm | Permalink
Long time reader, first time poster. Many of your non-sex posts show tenderness, but this one was touching.
Lana | 26-Aug-08 at 5:37 pm | Permalink
I don’t know what it is about this post, but I really feel what you are saying here…and it really touched me.
CJ | 26-Aug-08 at 7:40 pm | Permalink
I agree, beautiful post. Terrific writing.
The analogy between seeing things from 20,000 feet and staying away from love as the time slips by… the experience of coming across the random note which symbolizes everything that’s in your heart.
As for relating to the actual airplane experience, although I enjoy looking out now and then, I lost the interest in seeing the land go by underneath after a hundred flights or so, in fact I’d rather sit near the aisle so I don’t have to make people get up when I need to use the bathroom…
But sometimes I do like to imagine that I’m a person who lived hundreds of years ago, and seeing an airplane for the first time… “what is this magnificent contraption!? Oh my word, a flying machine!!!! Can it be?? Amazing…we are flying thousands of metres above the earth at astonishing speeds… the world truly is magical!”
Or imagine having the power of flight myself, and flying through the clouds outside like superman with my love wrapped around my neck… and stopping for a picnic on a nearby cumulus nimbus… of course that’s after science came up with a utility belt which can create a protective bubble of oxygen-rich, warm air around you…
Anyhoo, beautiful writing Vix.
Just | 27-Aug-08 at 12:26 am | Permalink
Just be warned: photographers might argue valid dibs on that window seat. Might want to steer clear of them.
Aizara | 27-Aug-08 at 5:31 am | Permalink
You sometimes describe yourself as a cold hearted bitch that is incapable of love - but right here you prove how tender and warm your emotions can be. Don’t shy away from this side of your personality, when you meet (and you will) your other half - this is the side that will make “what you do best” even better!
Blondefabulous | 27-Aug-08 at 2:04 pm | Permalink
Do. Not. Settle. Ever.
Yes the post was beautiful, but the point it made was equally as beaitiful. We all look for that special something. I settled the first time around and that turned into a crock of shit! Now I have what I have because I held out and waited for something that I felt completed me.
Do. Not. Settle. Ever.
sp | 27-Aug-08 at 2:55 pm | Permalink
Finding the love note reminded me of this book I just read. I think you would really like it:
http://www.amazon.com/Other-Peoples-Love-Letters-Never/dp/0307382648
rocketman | 27-Aug-08 at 7:09 pm | Permalink
Good post. A redemption of sorts after that Flatulence As A Weapon vs Big Sick Lug post a few days back.
Grown and Sexy | 29-Aug-08 at 11:09 pm | Permalink
This didn’t even seem like a blog post. This really was a work of literary art. The description and emotion behinds these words made me feel like it was me on that plane holding that paper. Not to take anything away from what you felt because it will happen for you but DAMN, this was some great writing.
Ash | 02-Sep-08 at 3:48 pm | Permalink
This made me go “Aww.” Sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.
Thing about it is, you’ll find it the minute you /truly/ stop looking for it. And you won’t realize you’ve stopped looking for it til you have it.
Fuckin’ psyche is crazy as hell. Kudos to you, darlin’.