I blame the Tookus Ouchus

I think all the naked time is getting to me. Clogging the brain. Blinding me. I can barely function as a normal human being. Of course this also happened when I went long periods without getting laid, so go shut the hell up.

And now I have to go to work? Seriously? I’m sorry Mr. Boss Man, but if you want me to get any work done you’re going to have to pry the cock out of my mouth and I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THAT YOU DON’T DO THAT. You know how animal mothers go all ape-shit crazy when someone goes after their young? I’M THAT WAY WITH COCK. LEAVE ME AND ALL THE PRETTY COCKS ALONE.

Last night I came home at two thirty in the morning with two perfectly defined hand prints on my ass. How can a girl expect to concentrate under these circumstances? IT CAN’T BE DONE.