The Over-Educated Nympho

My parents are coming to town this weekend to visit family friends. They will be “stopping by” my apartment before we all go to a dinner party. This means serious parent-proofing needs to be done.

They’re not ready to see any of the normal things lying around my apartment, like books called Jane Sexes It Up: True Confessions of Feminist Desire and The Hungry Wife [VINTAGE erotica! you can’t buy this on the internet! I should know, I picked it up at a dodgy street fair on Avenue A for a quarter], the vibrators in my dresser, the stack of Maxim magazines [crucial research, people!], and the two shelves of journals full of highly incriminating evidence. I have to protect my parents from the fact that I’ve grown up into a huge raving pervert.

Continue Reading »

I am not the only one in the office with a crush on Cute Client. Bright-Eyed Coworker, a sweet young thing has also had a crush on him. For months whenever one of us spotted Cute Client we would send each other emails with subject lines saying brilliant things like “Boy alert!!!” or “YOU HAVE TO PEE. GO NOW” or “He’s here!!!!!!!! .”

At roughly the same time we both stopped sending these emails every time we saw him. I stopped because I was now attending the meetings with Cute Client. The day we traded business cards I was sure to call over Bright-Eyed Coworker to brag, but she seemed to have lost interest in our mutual eye candy. Since then she’s hardly spoken to me–I just assumed she was really busy with her latest account.

Continue Reading »