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Parent-Proofing The Apartment

My parents are coming to town this weekend to visit family friends. They will be “stopping by” my apartment before we all go to a dinner party. This means serious parent-proofing needs to be done.

They’re not ready to see any of the normal things lying around my apartment, like books called Jane Sexes It Up: True Confessions of Feminist Desire and The Hungry Wife [VINTAGE erotica! you can’t buy this on the internet! I should know, I picked it up at a dodgy street fair on Avenue A for a quarter], the vibrators in my dresser, the stack of Maxim magazines [crucial research, people!], and the two shelves of journals full of highly incriminating evidence. I have to protect my parents from the fact that I’ve grown up into a huge raving pervert.

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I'm Vix, a 29 year-old Texan with 18 years of private education and 3 degrees. I'm trying to make a living as a sex/humor writer and entrepreneur. I'm sexy, funny, ugly, raw, and entirely real-- because there's more to me than being a blowjob queen.

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