No Cock Or Cake?
Last night I went to a tarts-and-vicars costume party. I did my best to dress as a high-class tart, you know like one of those fancy $7.99 gourmet fruit tarts you can only buy in places called patisseries. I’m no cheap tart, bitch.
So I know what you’re all really wondering: did I get laid?
What an absurd question. Oh, of course I got laid, my pervy little love buttons! I have such fantastic luck getting laid when I go to parties. Seriously, every time I walk into a party all the guys and confused straight girls flock to my bootyliciousness and proceed to compete in winning my affections.
