153 lbs., alcohol units 2, Oreos 62, calories approx. 9000 (v.g.)
One of my favorite silly indulgences is Bridget Jones’s Diary, in both book and video format. Hey don’t judge. I know one of you jackasses out there has Varsity Blues in VHS, DVD, .avi, and mini-disc format, so shove it up your bum-hole. Any-sodding-hoo. This post is written in the style of Bridget, the proud queen of singledom herself (um, if you ignore the crying).
8:05 a.m. Wake up late. Way late.
8:06 a.m. Don’t care.
8:20 a.m. Drag ass of bed, pretend to care about making self presentable for a bunch of corporate fuckwits.
8:32 a.m. Eat chocolate cake for breakfast while get daily dose of snark and consider calling in sick on grounds that I’m really fucking sick of work.
8:52 a.m. V. late. Leave for office. Drive bare-foot until find spare set of shoes in back seat. Think about inner poise. Oh bollocks, shirt buttoned wrong.
