Not The Fun Kind Of “Bend Over, Bitch”

I had my first presentation this morning. It was brutal. I would love to say that in spite of freaking out last night I actually ended up doing an excellent job, such an excellent job that some random CEO in the crowd stood up and demanded that I be given a raise immediately for my brilliant insight into what I have learned from my short time in the management training program–but then I’d be lying, and while I’m lying I may as well give myself an extra four weeks of vacation and the nice B-cups I had twenty pounds ago except without all the squishy parts this time.

Seriously, I am not exaggerating or being modest about the presentation. It did not go well. It was rough. Except sooo not in the fun dirty whore sex kind of way.

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