The Over-Educated Nympho

I was expecting a call from Handsome Nerd last night. It didn’t happen. All day long at work I checked my phone (many more times that I want to admit) to see if he’d called. He didn’t. Not that I could decide whether I wanted him to or not, and even if he did I still didn’t know if I would answer.

As I left the office, I checked my phone yet again and saw that there was a missed call at five after six. It was a number that wasn’t saved in my phone. What if it was Handsome Nerd? I only have one of his numbers! What if it’s the other one?! I DON’T KNOW IF IT WAS BECAUSE I DELETED HIS HOME PHONE NUMBER.

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Attending a friend’s wedding a couple weeks ago made me very aware of being single. During the ceremony I sat between two couples. Dateless, I sat between two couples. Both of whom were newlyweds and therefore very schmoopie!-schmoopie!! with each other.

At the reception afterward I sat at a table with four other couples. Four couples and me, without a plus-one. It didn’t make me feel guilty or lonely, but it definitely made me feel, ick, something.

I think it’s marriage cooties.

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This afternoon at work I checked my cell phone and saw that I had a voicemail. I entered a mild state of panic because my friends know not to call me during work hours, which meant this must be someone random. Oh sweet merciful CRAP what if it’s my gynecologist calling with my test results to tell me I HAVE CROTCH ROT?!! She said she’d only call if there was a problem!! WHAT IF THERE IS A PROBLEM WITH MY HAPPY PLACE??

Immediately I checked my voicemail. “Hey, uh, Vix, this is Handsome Nerd…”

WHAT?!!

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Today my site traffic hit an all-time high in every possible stat category. According to my referrals page, someone [who is beyond awesome. That’s right sweetie, nothing less than a capital “A” for your degree of Awesomeness] submitted my site to Stumbleupon.com and since then I have had a record 2700 visitors in one day. Holy sweet fuck. There were 215 visitors in one hour. I remember how excited I was to get that in one day, which only happened a year ago. Wow. I said it then and I’ll say it again, it’s exciting as hell to think where I could be one year from now.

–mouth drops–

Well shit, now I REALLY need to get laid. For the sake of the blog. Giggity.