The Over-Educated Nympho

Read this first. I mean it.

I can’t believe this. There is just no fucking way. HOW DID HE KNOW?? I swear, Handsome Nerd must have felt that little BOOOM! of his number being deleted out of my phone, because within the hour HE CALLED. I nearly dropped the phone when I heard “Hey Vix, this is Handsome Nerd…” on my voicemail when I got back from walking the dogs. Has my over-active imagination suddenly stretched to include audio?

What the fuck. This sounds like a boring and predictable plot twist in the typical chick flick, but for once in real life it actually happened. Just as the girl was ready to give up on him, the bastard called back. WITHIN THE HOUR.

After my run I dialed the very number that had just been deleted two hours earlier. Briefly I considered making him sweat it out for a few days, but I’m impatient as hell and wanted to hear what he had to say.

I called and it went to voicemail. Of fucking course it went to voicemail.

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Go here to read what happened next.

DELETE! There goes Handsome Nerd’s phone number.

I really wish that cell phones made a gong sound every time you deleted someone. Sure my phone showed me a little trash can opening and closing, but that just doesn’t cut it. I would prefer some sort of small explosion. What a fantastic representation of complete dismissal! BOOOM! And little pieces of electronic carcass fall like snow in the light of 20/20 hindsight.

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Having dogs is a great way to meet guys. Of course these guys are often married, but you can pretend in your head that he’s checking you out (sometimes they actually do) and is trying to muster the balls to ask for your number (sometimes they actually do, ick).

Then every once in a while, life throws you a boner.

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Today my friend Barbie asked me if Handsome Nerd had called me back yet.

Nope. I haven’t gotten so much as a hang-up since I called him Thursday night.

“Does Ken have his number? I’m not entirely sure it was Handsome Nerd, because it was one of those generic voicemail messages…”

“Um,” said Barbie, “I think he got your message.” She paused. “I have news.”

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