Get That Thing Away From My Crotch

I’m going to the gynecologist this morning.

I am pretending that I am so not completely nervous. Sure it’s been a very slow year as far as friendly visitors who’ve cum calling (always with a wrapped twinkie, of course), but there’s always that freak chance that there’s something wrong. I tried to go to the gyno four months ago but they told me my insurance only covered one exam a year. What the fuck? Dude, what if I’d had crotch rot? Would I have to wait until the year’s billing cycle was over to deal with a horrendous Itch situation?

Oh, um, have I mentioned that cracking jokes is how I deal with uncomfortable situations? CROTCH ROT!! tee hee hee ah fuck.