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Sex Toy Review Cumming Soon: Hardwood Dildos

A couple weeks ago the creator of Hardwood Dildos contacted me about reviewing one of his custom hand-carved wood dildos on my blog. What kind of girl would say no? I only have twelve sex toys, keep ‘em cumming please! Ooooh and this one is pretty. Mmmm and STURDY. And doesn’t have pieces that fall off at bad times.

I received my new dildo and, um, conducted thorough research today. I had intended to try it out and then write the review tonight but, well… you know how these things go. I like to make sure all products that cross my hands undergo extensive research so I can give the most informative review possible. For the sake of my readers, of course. That’s just the kind of selfless person I am.

Here’s the quickie review: I would give two enthusiastic thumbs up if they weren’t otherwise occupied. So I guess we’ll have to settle for ten curled toes instead.

Detailed review cumming soon. But I may, uh, have to do some more research first. Just sayin’.

sex ed.

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There Once Was a Young Girl From Nantucket

Here is a little something that one of my favorite readers wrote me the other day in response to this post. The poem made me squeal with pure delight, which of course meant I had to share it on the blog like all other things that make me squeal. I wish I could take credit for writing such a clever poem, but unfortunately “Ode To Creepy Old Men” is the extent of my poetic ability.

A cubicle monkey named Vix
Finds herself in a terrible fix.
She fumed and she pouted,
But lest she be outed
She labors from nine until six.

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humor
writing
happy little things

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*18+ Only Please*

I'm Vix, a 27 year-old Texan. After 18 years of private education and 3 degrees, I'm trying to leave the corporate world behind to become a sex/humor writer and novelist. I'm sexy, funny, ugly, raw, and entirely real-- because there's more to me than being a blowjob queen.

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