The Over-Educated Nympho

My friend Barbie is getting married this weekend in her hometown. There are few people in my life whom I would be so excited about getting married, let alone drive halfway across the state to see get married.

There’s going to be something blog-worthy one way or another. I’m a commitment-phobic singleton who thinks “marriage” is a four-letter word sitting at a table of couples without the buffer of a plus-one, and I will be facing Handsome Nerd for the first time since New Year’s Eve when he left me hot and wet and extremely pissed.

Awkwaaaaard.

Since I’m sure Handsome Nerd will be looking extra handsome in a tux (he’s in the wedding party) and yet goofy in that irresistibly nerdy way, I have no choice but to look so hot that Hell itself would explode in a bajillion fiery embers upon seeing a spaghetti strap slip off my bare shoulder. Aha, I have just the outfit: a feisty little black dress that it is impossible to wear a bra with. My girls may be small but they’re perky weapons of mass distraction.

That’s right babycakes, I’m breaking out the double guns. AVERT YOUR EYES!

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Go here to read about the double drama at the wedding.

I’m tentatively scheduled to change webhosts again this weekend, which means my site will be on and off for a day or so. Hopefully it will be back up by Monday morning so I can blog about the out-of-town wedding I’m attending where there will be a certain Handsome Nerd looking awkward in a tux.

Now normally I don’t point fingers when someone pisses me off (like all you stupid little Myspace wanna-be whores who copy my blowjob posts as your own) because I don’t want to get involved in a witch hunt. But I would like to take this time to say the following: The Host Group is a horrible webhost. They screwed up my migration, sent me into 404 hell which lost me thousands of hits and a week’s worth of posts/comments. Host Group, congratulations on shoving past all the many perverts to make your way to the top of my Shit List. You can suck my hairy left one.