too smart and too horny for her own good
Yesterday I was chatting with a new coworker while we were at the copier. He said something about midgets, I said something about midgets, he laughed so I kept talking about midgets, yada yada he thinks I’m obsessed with midget porn. Since then he avoids eye contact when he walks by.
I knew I should have stopped at midget rodeo.
After a night out of bar-hopping, all I went home with was a bag of Oreos.
I’m tempted to leave the post at that and go cuddle up with my comfort food as I crunch myself to sleep in a nest of crumbs, but that would be a double anti-climax and The Pussy would probably leave my body in disgust. And then I’d have to deal with a dozen emails and comments accusing me of being fat and ugly if I, OEN, can’t find a guy to fuck.*
It’s not my fault. Seriously, I did everything I could. I wore a touch-me miniskirt with fuck-me heels, I painted over my chipped toenail polish, I wore my hair down and all sex/ruffled-looking. This is the best I can offer based on physical appearance alone (which really is not my forte and why I suck at the bar scene). If I got diddly squat tonight, not even a little squeeze from a pimply barely legal college student, it was not for lack of trying. I mean, hell, I shaved my legs.
*18+ Only Please*
I'm Vix, a 27 year-old Texan. After 18 years of private education and 3 degrees, I'm trying to leave the corporate world behind to become a sex/humor writer and novelist. I'm sexy, funny, ugly, raw, and entirely real-- because there's more to me than being a blowjob queen.
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