One Year Ago SUCKED
This morning I woke up early to watch something I was bidding for on eBay (and I got it too! Kiss my grits, bitches! HOW YOU LIKE MY BOOTY SHAKE NOW?!) and since then I’ve been taking my time getting ready for once instead of running around the apartment in my underwear trying to apply mascara with one hand while stuffing my face with the other.
A word from the late-riser trenches: don’t. INEVITABLY YOUR HANDS WILL GET MIXED UP AND NO ONE SHOULD START HER MORNING WITH A MOUTHFUL OF PATOOOIE UNLESS IT TASTES LIKE SPOOGE.
