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The Condom Aisle Is Heckling Me

Tonight I went by a drug store to pick up some things. Sadly, none of them were condoms. I’m at a seminar this weekend–for work. You think I’m going to bang any of those fugly-ass guys? NUH UH. (But if I did, I’m covered–I’ve got three condoms in my purse and two in my work bag. And a paper bag to put over his head. Just in case.)

Okay, well there was this ONE cute guy but he was a bit smallish for my taste (I worry I may break anyone who is my size or smaller). Nice body though. Beautiful smile. Cute butt. Asked a good question during Q&A. Nice arms. Not that I paid much attention.

Dude, what the fuck was I saying? –blanks–

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06 16 2007

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Poll: How Did You Find OEN?

You like polls? I like polls. They’re fun. It makes me feel like my opinion matters. Which it does anyway, but a poll shows quantitatively that my opinion matters. I like knowing that I can measure my existence quantitatively, even though it infuriates me when my mother does the same thing. Maybe if she used polls instead of SAT scores? Hmm. Besides, clicking on buttons is fun. You know what makes it even more fun? Clucking with your tongue when you click your selection. Now cluck and click and pretend that what I just said is not the goobiest thing you’ve ever heard. It’s only the third goobiest. See?! Quantitative. Pure brilliance.

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06 16 2007

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*18+ Only Please*

I'm Vix, a 27 year-old Texan. After 18 years of private education and 3 degrees, I'm trying to leave the corporate world behind to become a sex/humor writer and novelist. I'm sexy, funny, ugly, raw, and entirely real-- because there's more to me than being a blowjob queen.

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