Bacon Won’t Redeem You, Dude
It has been a beautiful weekend here in Texas, so I fulfilled my patriotic bikini-clad duty and went to the pool this afternoon. I had been there for about an hour reading peacefully when I heard a familiar “Hey.”
Fuck. Fuck fuck FUCK.
It was the guy I met at the pool a couple weeks ago, aka Homophobic Moron Who Doesn’t Know When To Shut The Fuck Up And Also Doesn’t Understand That You Shouldn’t Burp When You’re Trying To Impress A Girl [but that’s way too long to type out, so he will simply be called Hot Moron]. The one who was oh so very pretty to look at, and was nice enough, but had a bad case of Dumbass. I had to pretend-nap to get him to go away. I pulled a pretend-nap on a hot guy. That’s some prize-winning dumbass.
