The Over-Educated Nympho

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On Tuesday night I finally met Candyman, my new friend-with-benefits for margaritas at a Mexican restaurant. I had gotten home late from work, so I was a bit frantic finding the perfect clothes (seductive yet tasteful… and hopefully an eyeful too), showering, applying lotion while digging through my jewelry box and doing all those other so-called sexy things we girls do before a big date. Or who would hopefully be a BIG date.

I was running late to meet him, which did not help to ease my nerves as I walked from the parking lot to the door. Please don’t run away screaming at the sight of me, please don’t look me up and down and say YOU’RE Vix?! I WAS EXPECTING BIGGER BOOBS.”

As soon as I walked in I saw a single figure sitting by the door.

“Candyman?”

He looked up. Pretty eyes. He blinked twice. Uh oh, I hope those were good blinks and not how the fuck am I going to get out of this blinks.

“Yeah? Vix?” He stood up.

“Hi.” I AM TOTALLY PRETENDING THAT I AM CONFIDENT IN THIS SITUATION.

“Hi.” SO AM I.

We sized each other up. Neither of us ran away screaming. Score.

“I’m sorry I’m late, have you been waiting long?” I said.

“Um, just twenty minutes,” he laughed with a little embarrassment.

“FUCK I’m sorry! I should have told you I tend to run late…” but I never cum late, don’t you worry…

A waiter led us to a table. I walked in front because I wanted Candyman to get a nice long view of my ass. Am I shameless? I’m totally shameless. I don’t care–I got laid, didn’t I? Hey now, you can’t spell “shameless” without A-S-S.

We sat down opposite each other in a booth and stole glances at each other while pretending to pay attention to the waiter. Bright blonde hair, nice smile, medium build, plain black tshirt, frat boy style jeans, cool shoes… yes, this looks good. Yessiree, I like my tequila with a side of MAN.

We ordered margaritas and queso to go with the chips the waiter had brought over.

“So….” he started.

“Damn. This is weird.” Aw crap, I’ve said like ten words and already I’m a goddamn moron. Can we just jump to the sex? I do much better in social situations when sex is involved.

It took a while for the weirdness to subside. The margaritas helped ease the tension. Tequila is good that way. Even though we had already exchanged lots of emails and gone to second base over IM, it’s completely bizarre when you see the screen name sitting in front of you scratching his ear.

We talked about the usual first date stuff. Candyman is thirty years old and recently got divorced. This was part of the reason our mutual friend hooked us up–he knows I have a soft spot for newly divorced guys who just need a little bit of lovin’ to get back in the saddle again. He’s getting his MBA and is leaving town in a couple months to go back East. There wasn’t much flirtation during this part, we were still sizing each other up.

We finished our margaritas and queso but I was still hungry. I’d gobbled down a meager dinner earlier while deciding which panties to wear (and YES I admit this included striking poses in front of a mirror to see which ones made me look most bootylicious and I SWEAR THIS IS NORMAL GIRL BEHAVIOR SO STOP LAUGHING AT ME). I asked Candyman if he wanted to split some flan and then I signaled the waiter over.

A few minutes later be reappeared with a plate of flan and two forks. We each took one and started eating from opposite sides. As we talked we kept pace with each other bite for bite. This looks promising, I thought. Eventually there was only one bite left.

“I’ll fight you for it,” I teased. And I fight dirty, bitch.

“No way. I have a better idea.” He scooped up the last bit of flan and offered his fork to me.

I opened my mouth to accept the sweet flan. As he pulled the fork out from between my lips I looked at him from the side of my eyes and wondered if what was racing through my head was the same thing going through his.

We left shortly after. I said I’d follow him in my car back to his place. In the parking lot he grabbed my hand and pulled me between two cars.

“Subtle,” I teased. But then again, I don’t do subtle. I do shit exactly like this.

Candyman pulled me into his arms. My hands cupped his neck so I could pull him closer. We kissed hard, fast, intense. Just the way I like it. I pressed my entire body into him and felt that he had been thinking the exact same thing I was. His lips tasted sweet as flan.

“Let’s go,” I grinned. “Now.”

I followed him in my car. Ten minutes later we pulled up in front of his apartment complex.

—————–

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