I said I WOULD RATHER BE DREAMING ABOUT DICK

In spite of having cybersex with my new FWB Candyman last night right before going to bed–and cumming twice (hey YOU try typing and masturbating at the same time, jackass)–I dreamed about work. AND MY WORK IS SO BORING IT MAKES ME FALL ASLEEP IN MY OWN DREAM.

You know what keeps me awake while I’m working? DAYDREAMING ABOUT GETTING LAID.

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