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I’d Rather Be Dreaming About Dick

It’s midnight and I just got home from the office. Today has been miserable, and not just because I was too busy being a good little worker monkey to bask in the triumphant opening of flood gates last night. The last two days have been rough at the office and I’ve barely gotten any sleep since Thursday night (over the weekend I stayed up late exchanging naughty IMs with my lust-interest while at my parents house! GO ME).

About half the time I can remember my dreams from the night before. I’d say 75% of them are work-related. Doesn’t matter if I spent the entire evening writing about blowjobs, I will dream about being a cubicle monkey.

Listen up, brain–you’re going to ignore everything you did at the office today and THINK ABOUT THE COCK YOU HAD IN YOUR MOUTH LAST NIGHT. IS THAT SO FREAKING HARD? WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DREAM ABOUT WORK INSTEAD OF COCK? SHAME ON YOU. SHAAAAAME. IF YOU DREAM ABOUT WORK AGAIN AFTER HAVING GOTTEN LAID, THEN YOU CAN JUST GO FUCK YOURSELF ON YOUR PRECIOUS DESK CHAIR, OKAY ASSWIPE?

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I'm Vix, a 29 year-old Texan with 18 years of private education and 3 degrees. I'm trying to make a living as a sex/humor writer and entrepreneur. I'm sexy, funny, ugly, raw, and entirely real-- because there's more to me than being a blowjob queen.

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