Put Your Wang Away
To Whom It May Concern:
I am very happy that you like my blog and you have been reading it every day for two days now. I am very grateful for your help in psychoveranalyzing my mental dysfunctions based on all five posts you read (three of which were about blowjobs, the other two you skimmed looking for dirty pictures). Most of all, I am honored to be graced with your offer of “cumming to TX to rock my wrrrld.” Except that I’m lying.
Sadly I do not have an Intern George to send out to cuddle you in his delicate yet masculine arms, since clearly you are reaching out to me for something larger than yourself. But I do have a half-eaten turkey sandwich. Perhaps I could send you that instead? It’s got mayonnaise on it. Yum-yum in the tum-tum!
xoxo [redacted]
Vix
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To put things in perspective on how NOT to win over a nerd-turned-nympho over the romantic environment that is cyberspace (although I think it is safe to say that the majority of these apply to any girl whose MySpace profile doesn’t include photos showing off her fascination with contortionism), here are some general guidelines:
