The Over-Educated Nympho

All of a sudden a lot of people I know are getting engaged. To be –eep– married.

My friend Barbie has been engaged to Ken for a while now, so that’s not news. Then a couple weeks ago Sex Exec proposed to his long-term girlfriend. On Valentine’s Day, Handsome Twosome proposed to Pretty Twosome (awwwww!). Today, I received an email from Perfectly Normal Friend telling me she’s engaged (Congratulations I love you kiss kiss!!).

Now I want to make it clear that I am genuinely happy for every one of my dear friends. They are all wonderful people with equally wonderful significant others and I wish them all the very best. I just feel that I should tell you that I will be maintaining a twenty-foot distance from you from now on because I THINK ENGAGEMENT IS CONTAGIOUS.

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Years ago, right before I started dating (Ex)BF, I used to go to this one particular coffeeshop a lot. I went nearly every evening with my journal and a book. Almost every time I was there, so was this guy–a rather dashing tall dark and handsome guy, with a good sense of humor and a beautiful smile. Oh, and the arms. The toned arms that looked perfect for lifting me up against a bathroom wall and having his dirty way with me.

When we sat at neighboring tables (not that I EVER did that on purpose), we’d get to chatting. Neither one of us were bold enough to make a move, but it was obvious that we were into each other. Every time I saw him I’d vow to myself, THIS TIME you’re going to ask him out, THIS TIME you won’t chicken out, you know he likes you so just ask him already!… but I never did. He was too handsome, too cool, too nice–too intimidating.

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