The Over-Educated Nympho

I woke up and I can see the world… at 85% clarity with lots of blinking. Already. Wow…. just.. WOW. You normal people live like this everyday?!

Ok, eye strain. I’m glad I can type without having to look at the keys. The doc said that tomorrow I should be okay to read, watch tv, and use the computer! Aw, the fine world of modern-day science. Once you can get over the weird sci-fi shit they do to your eyeballs (and they do it all, my eyeballs totally feel like they were bitch-slapped). But totally worth the thousands of dollars I barely scraped together and the occasional nightmare I may have about a blinking red light probing my eyeball and a deep voice telling me to STARE INTO THE LIGHT.

I’m going in for my Lasik surgery tomorrow morning. A friend is driving me there and back (the whole thing takes less than an hour, the procedure itself is only fifteen minutes) and then I’ll be enjoying the effects of Valium for the rest of the day.

Am I nervous? I wasn’t nervous until a coworker who recently had her eyes done told me to prepare myself for the smell of burning eyeball. Apparently it’s worse than the smell of burning flesh. (How does she know this?) Of all the details I’ve been told and read about online, this is the one that makes me squeamish. BURNING EYEBALLS?? EW EW EW EWWWW.

It’s difficult to know how my recovery will be. In other words, I may not be able to post all weekend. [Play in the Archives of my psyche if you miss me, kisses!]

I’m told that I’ll be able to drive myself to the post-op appointment on Saturday, but I should avoid reading, watching tv, and working on the computer. And no exercise or sweaty activities (ie no masturbating). I’m stumped. I have no idea what to do with all the free time, and my friends will only be able to tolerate me mimicking the sounds of the laser burning my corneas off for so long before they threaten me with a paring knife to the eyeball.

Addendum, 3am

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