The Over-Educated Nympho

These are all real searches by which someone found my site. Every single one of these is real. When available, I included the listing/ranking number. Most searches were done through Google, but also included were Blogger, AOL, Yahoo, MSN. Some of these are old, so the ranking may have changed since the original date. I’m sure there have been many more funny bizarre WTF searches, but I these are the ones I caught through Sitemeter. Oh Sitemeter, if you were a man you’d be the skeezy private eye hired by rich men to photograph their wives having illicit affairs, wouldn’t you? Oh, I love you so, Sitemeter.

does my therapist love me
if I were a superhero (#20)
tampon string camel toe (#7)
dumpster diving manhattan
it wasn’t me it was the drink talking
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

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The Ask Vix questions have really started rolling in, and I think many of us find these situations –sigh– very familiar. I hope you don’t mind the many advice posts this week (hell, maybe this will bring in more questions! please!), and I will do my best to continue with the Sex Toys 101 series each night. No promises, remember I have that pesky day job that gets in the way of my writing about all things inappropriate. The fuckers.

All Ask Vix posts are based on real emails from real readers. Any identifying information is removed.

I went out with this guy a couple of times, and we had a good time. The last time we hung out at his place and ended up making out for a while (okay, more than making out, but no sex). When I left he said he’d call me. He didn’t call within a week, so I got over it and moved on. I’m not one to wait around at all.

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I’ve gotten a lot of emails about what is a good first vibrator (jack rabbit), should you buy a vibrator for your girlfriend/wife (yes, duh), what are other good vibrators (depends on what you want and what you already have), how to bring sex toys into the bedroom/relationship (don’t surprise him with a dildo up the ass, no guy likes that (at first)), do vibrators intimidate guys (see previous response) etc. I’ve a-hem, researched enough over the last couple weeks (and for an hour and a half last night) to answer everyone’s questions. Okay I already knew what to write I just didn’t because I was busy going for a new orgasm record (16).

There are a lot of topics I want to cover, so this post will be the first in a series, starting with Sex Toys 101. The intention of this series is to teach you all the things you wish you had learned in college (but didn’t because you were too busy trying to figure out how to get laid in the first place. Or maybe you were too busy getting shit-faced studying like the good little scholar I’m sure you are).

If you have a question, please don’t hesitate to email me at vixoen@gmail.com or use the contact form at the end of this post and I’ll answer as soon as I can. Remember, this is a happy place. Inappropriate questions are not only welcome, but encouraged. [Unless you’re asking me out, in which case the answer is I’M AN OLD FAT GUY WITH A 44DD MANZIERE AND A DICKDO. But if that turns you on, then come over here and rub ma belly fer me while I suck the grease off these here drumsticks. –passes gas– ]

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