The Over-Educated Nympho

This is what I call Valentine’s Day. National Singles Awareness Day. As much as I would love to say I thought that up all on my my own, I did not. But that doesn’t mean I can’t make a wise-ass post out of it.

One week from tomorrow is N.S.A.D. That means all the married/coupled women in my office will receive huge bouquets of flowers and singing heart telegrams (one can only hope for such embarrassment to rain down on their big fat freakin ray of sunshine), and all the men will look hopeful in anticipation of getting some that night.

Me? I have a soccer game. And that is all. It’s co-ed soccer… maybe I can kick some cute guy in the crotch and then take him home with me under the promise of “I’ll make it all better.” Ha. I almost choked on my own evil brilliance.

For those people too busy to celebrate N.S.A.D. on the proper day will postpone the festivities until Friday night. I will be recovering from Lasik eye surgery, only to wake up the next morning to.. my dog licking my face. Although I am very happy about the idea of being able to see like a normal person (i.e. not have to squint and pull my alarm clock with extra-large numbers closer to my face like a goddamn moron), it is times like this when I wish I had something nice to look at when I wake up in the morning. Other than two slobbery dogs, one of whom will probably be standing right on top of my boob. This is the only action my right boob has gotten in weeks.

Continue Reading »

I got two more advertisements! The right sidebar is getting crowded. It’s cool. Left sidebar, right sidebar, all the good stuff in the middle… mmmm it’s always gooooood being in the middle…

I was able to weed out through the hundreds of lame advertisements to pick out some cool ones I actually like. I already have sex toys & books, and now I’m adding the final two indulgences for one rockin’ three way: coffee and books. Ok I’m a nerd shuddyup. You have to have something to do when your body is spent from hours of sex or masturbation.

Coffeeforless.com sells coffee in bulk. I just lost myself on their site for twenty minutes, trying to decide if I really needed to buy five pounds of hazelnut coffee. The obvious answer was duh, yes. I’ve pulled back on the wine drinking, which corresponds to increased coffee drinking, because I must have a glass/cup of something by me at all times. I have a huge oral fixation, especially when it comes to writing.. most curious indeed…

Abebooks.com is my most beloved book website. When Amazon doesn’t have what I want, Abebooks.com does, which is typically out-of-print, first edition, or hard to find books. They’re a huge conglomerate of smaller booksellers, so you can find damn near anything here. I love them dearly. To my fellow bibliophiles out there, this is the greatest non-sexual gift I can bestow upon you. Please treat them with nothing short of complete adoration.