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The Two-Minute Addadicktomy

I tried the strap-on on again tonight.

Yeah. It’s still too funny to be sexy. WEEEE!! LOOK AT ME!! I HAVE A PENIS!!

–jumps up and down–

BOUNCY BOUNCY BOUNCY

–collapses in a fit of giggles–

Well shit, how the fuck am I ever supposed to use this thing (let alone hammer like a jack rabbit) when I can’t stop giggling at the absurdity of a rubber dick and ballsack protruding from my otherwise girly groin? –sniff sniff– Smell that? It’s rose petals and rainbows. Definitely girl groin. If you can look past the overwhelming smell of rubber cock.

They soooo did not cover this in sex ed. Fucking prep school.

BOUNCY BOUNCY BOUNCY!

sex
threesomes
sex ed.
chortles

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humor
I just threw up in my mouth a little

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I'm Vix, a 29 year-old Texan with 18 years of private education and 3 degrees. I'm trying to make a living as a sex/humor writer and entrepreneur. I'm sexy, funny, ugly, raw, and entirely real-- because there's more to me than being a blowjob queen.

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