Hey Dumbass, I’m Trying To Flirt With You
The other day I met my friend Dr. Barbie at a coffeeshop where she studied and I “worked” (meaning: I blatantly checked out all the nerdy-cute guys from behind the safety of a notebook). I may be a complete social retard in a bar, but the coffeeshop scene is where I’m in my element. Nerds, intellectuals, and closet freaks, all pumped with caffeine-scented pheromones.It was prime time so every table was taken. My eyes scanned across the room several times before deciding on one guy in particular, who was conveniently seated at two o’clock. He had a good view of me, I of him. A very nice view. Mmm. Diggity.








