6 Vibrators, 12 Batteries, 1 Happy Nympho
I may be alone on a Saturday night, but I am as happy as can fucking be because I’ve got my box of sex toys from IntimateGifts.com, which I have been instructed to review. –sigh– The demands of an aspiring sex columnist never end. Which is exactly why I love it so damn much.
The setting for “researching” all of these fine goodies:
I’m in bed, alone. (sigh) Hard rain outside. The room is dark except for a table lamp. A stack of books of erotica, the latest issue of Maxim with Eva Mendes (I’m a pervert ok? shutthefuckup it’s not like you’re one to talk, reading something called the Over-Educated Nympho–what would your mother think?!) and two porn DVDs (thanks to Daisy Duxxx and Summer Haze from the Lone Star Pornutopia convention in December) are ready to get me excited for multiple orgasms.
I’m wearing some sexy lacy underwear and nothing else (hey, just because I’m alone it doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy being sexy). I’ve had a couple glasses of wine because it’s been a long day. I feel it in my sore shoulders from being hunched over a laptop since this morning trying to advance my aspiring writing career. An excellent career which includes reviewing sex toys. HELLS YEAH.
So I’ll be busy tonight, and tomorrow, and the next day and who are we fucking kidding I may call in sick to work one day. There is so much research to be done–for the sake of the blog. And for the sake of my beloved readers’ orgasms.
