The Over-Educated Nympho

You can only avoid having the person you’re dating come over to your place for so long before she starts accusing you of having another girlfriend, living with your parents, living with your wife, or living in a cardboard box behind the crack-ho Taco Cabana, so at some point you have to suck it up and let her come over. Or if you’re smooth enough to pull it off, occasionally bring home a hook-up.

[Readers: please forgive me for addressing the male audience, but I assume more guys will benefit from this post than girls. I’m NOT JUDGING. My own apartment is a bit, well, icky. But it’s easy for a chick to get away with a messy apartment, because all she has to do is take off her shirt and then a guy wouldn’t notice if there were a feces-filled gorilla cage in the apartment.]

You should be doing most of these things in the first place, especially if you’re well out of college and extra-especially if you’re over the age of thirty. Your place should not like like the set of Jackass if you’re middle-aged. If that’s the case then you can stop wondering why you’re still single.

Here are a few tips on how to make a good impression, whether you’re bringing home a new girlfriend or a one-night stand someone you hope to get to know better.

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Some of you have noticed that there is a Ask Vix page with a contact form for asking me questions. Some of you have emailed to ask me if I pay attention to this because the answers are never posted.

Yes, I answer all questions that come in. It may take a month (sorry!) but I’m usually pretty good about answering within a couple days.

So far I haven’t posted any of this correspondence for various reasons, but that doesn’t mean I won’t in the future.

Several recent post topics have come from questions sent in to “Ask Vix,” so don’t hesitate to use this. If you have a question (even a very specific one), there are probably twenty readers out there in a similar situation who would like to hear a third party’s take on things but simply don’t ask.

Psst… a little secret… this is a practice run for something else… which means I take it very seriously.

kisses!
Vix

This is becoming an issue so I feel I should address it again: please do not proposition me. I will say no.

I wrote about this once already, but there have been a lot of new visitors recently who probably haven’t stumbled across the above link.

Don’t think I’m some snob up on my high horse who just wants to brag about my clan of stalkers admirers. [pssst… the jokes on them… I’m actually a middle-aged man with a dickdo. RUB MA BELLY BABY, IH LIKE IT WHEN YOUSE RUB MA BELLY, YOUSE SEXY MAMA.]

In all seriousness, the objective of this blog has never been to lure people in for sex. [COME INTO MY CAVE, YOU CUTE LITTLE MAN YOU]. I know that the blog title may suggest otherwise, but if you take the time to read more than three posts you’ll discover I’m not some cyber-slut. Sorry. That’s what craigslist and myspace adultfriendfinder are for.

So to be clear: I don’t want propositions from guys, from girls, from married people, from couples, from a “sweet thirtysomething female” WHICH I KNOW IS A DISGUISE FOR A CREEPY GUY, YOU WEIRDO or anyone else I may have forgotten to mention. Not that I’m thinking of anyone in particular. From Spring, Texas. grrrr.

Please stop. The more “I must politely decline” emails I have to write, the less time I have for writing something entertaining that everyone can enjoy.