The Over-Educated Nympho

As I begin typing this it’s exactly twenty-four hours after Handsome Twosome and Pretty Twosome walked into the steakhouse and into my life. I haven’t showered even though I came home twelve hours ago. I’ve been letting the smells and touches of the night stay on my skin as long as possible before they must be washed away for another boring day at the office.

My apologies for taking longer than expected to get this post out, but frankly I’ve been hoarding the private memories all afternoon before I was able to share it here, kinda like a little kid’s birthday party: you have to let her open her presents and feel ownership of it all before she is self-satisfied enough to share them with others. And simultaneously I’ve been preparing the new Superblog for launch. A very busy weekend.

For those who want to jump ahead to the good stuff, here’s a break-down with links:

Nervous as hell: Preparations
Course One: Appetizing meeting the couple
Course Two: Salad surprisingly not awkward
Course Three: Meat getting along well
Course Four: Dessert getting along very well
Course Five: Drinks going back to their place
Course Six: The real dessert making the first move
Course Seven: Pitchers of ice water the beginning of the dirty sex
Course Eight: Juice still more dirty sex
Course Eight and a half: A second serving of juice the rest of the dirty sex
Course Nine: Red wine and oreos pillow talk with my new lovers
On the menu for next time: just a little taste of what’s to cum

The First Course: APPETIZING

I was already running late to meet Handsome and Pretty Twosome, the couple I had been phoning and emailing with for weeks in anticipation of our threesome. Not a goddamn thing to wear. This never happens to me. Usually I have mentally prepared three outfits beforehand and it only takes me a couple minutes the night of to mix and match and pull together a killer outfit. Not so this time. Not that I expected there to be anything normal about this night.

I was running from my closet to the stack of clean clothes in the living room to the full-length mirror and back again for twenty minutes. What the fuck do you wear to meet the other two people in your threesome? No such advice exists in The Modern Girl’s Guide to Life (hey there’s a book I could write, eh? The Nympho’s Guide to Life. heeeey there. . . . Ooh can I copyright that for later?! Don’t steal that!! Ok here we go I found the code thingy © 2006 Over-Educated Nympho. MINE. BACK AWAY FROM MY FUTURE BOOK DEAL, BITCH OR I’LL COME AFTER YOU WITH MY GRANDDADDY’S SHOTGUN).

Finally I chose what I hoped was sexy in a teasing way, not a putting-it-all-out-there way. My favorite booty jeans over knee-high 3.5″ black leather boots, a very low-cut sleeveless black top that clung to my body and stopped just short of my belly button, leaving a couple inches of exposed skin. Texas is finally getting cool so I tied a tight black sweater around my waist to cover up most of that exposed skin but still leave some peaks (hey I can pretend to be modest like a normal person, shaddyup). Make-up was just like what I do for work, simple and done hastily since I usually run late. Black beaded earrings and one of my many chokers around the neck [choker around neck + low-cut top = a huge plain of uninterrupted exposed flesh pulls in lots of attention].

I wanted to look as sultry as possible, yet still classy and smart. I have one helluva reputation to uphold, after all. These two have been reading my blog for a while now and I don’t want them to come away thinking I was all talk and a prissy-pants walk. The horror!

On top of that I was starved for sex. It would be three months on Tuesday. By far my longest record in years, one which I do not plan on ever surpassing. I needed sex. After three months it’s damn right I need two people to take care of me instead of one.

I arrived at the restaurant ten minutes late but they were still another five behind me. Waiting at the bar where I could see the driveway and entrance, I people-watched.

Oh who is that. Chick with bad hair and guy with a LSU tshirt underneath a blazer? pleasedontbethem pleasedontbethem pleasedontbethem. Too old ok we’re cool. Who’s this pulling up? Yummy black guy… two yummy black guys… can I slip you my number in case this doesn’t work out, eh buddy? Mmmm hmm you can walk right past me with a fine ass like that, damn. And who’s this here? Nice clothes, good walk, DAH THE FACE DON’T MAKE EYE CONTACT OH MY GOD. sigh ok that wasn’t them either. I see another car.. one head… two heads… two attractive heads with good hair… this is good, this is good… this looks like the photo he sent… YESSSSSS!!! NOT UGLY!! THEY ARE HANDSOME AND PRETTY TWOSOME!! I AM MENTALLY HIGH-FIVING MYSELF! GO ME!!!!!

I saw a similar sigh of relief on their faces. And then interest.

It’s on.

Continue reading here.