The Over-Educated Nympho

I had the perfect first date last night with Handsome Nerd. I mean perfect. All day today I was all sappy and happy and thinking that maybe my heart won’t turn to stone and maybe my pussy won’t become a weapon I use against all mankind for pissing me off one too many times. This evening I called Handsome Nerd (after I knew the college football game he was so excited about was over) just to chat and tell him I had a great time last night.

As soon as he answered the phone he sounded odd.”It’s weird, it’s like you’re too much like my friends. We got along so well and you laughed at all my stupid jokes and it was ok being an idiot in front of you because you still thought I was cool…”

“And that’s bad? I don’t understand.”

“Well, I have my friends, and they’re fun and everything, but you’re exactly like a female version of my friends. I don’t want to hang out with my friends all day and then see you and have it be the same thing.”

“I still don’t see how that’s bad. Isn’t that what all guys WANT in a girl?”

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So so many things were wrong last night on my date with Handsome Nerd.

I was ten minutes late to the restaurant.

We had to go to a different steakhouse because the first restaurant’s wait was 45 minutes long.

He didn’t wear nice “first date” clothes. Or do so much as tuck in his shirt, or wear a belt, and I believe he wore hiking boots or something of the R.E.I. variety.

It did not start well. It also took a while to get the conversation going, mainly because our HIMYNAMEISTAMMYANDIWILLBEYOURWAITRESSTONIGHTANDOHMYGODGUYS
THISPLACESERVESTHEBESTSTEAKREALLYREALLYIUSEDTOCOMEHEREALLTHE
TIMEBEFOREISTARTEDWORKINGHEREANDILOVEITSOMUCHANDIMSOHAPPYYOU
DECIDEDTOJOINUSHERETONIGHT waitress was trying so very hard to be the perfect attentive waitress, talking so much and telling us cute stories and yes, she was very adorable, and I did give her a huge tip because she was an (otherwise) attentive waitress, but COME ON WOMAN, YOU’RE TALKING THROUGH MY GAME, HERE.

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