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No Room For a Schmoopie?

The more I work at the office and also on blogging stuff the more I realize that there isn’t room for this whole “guy” thing. Seriously. I barely sleep as it. (Although if a guy kept me up late “recreationally” I’m sure I could still drag my ass out of bed and in to work, but that ain’t looking like it’s going to be an issue).

And you know what? I bet now that I’m saying this—and meaning it—I’m going to meet a fantastic guy. That’s how it always goes, isn’t it? You meet someone great when you’re not looking? Well THIS IS NOT A TRICK. I’m done with douchebags, pushy jackasses (not that he was ever a contender, eww), guys who are attached and don’t want to admit it, and anyone who makes me impatient (ok, that eliminates all the nice guys doesn’t it? shit.)*

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writing
dating
singledom
Single By Choice, damnit

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Crankin’ It on the Weekend

I’m at the office. Again. On another goddamn beautiful sunny weekend.

Two hundred people in my office on two floors during the week.

Four people in the whole office and none on my floor during the weekend.

IT’S TIME FOR SOME EMINEM, MOTHAFUCKAS. I’M TURNING THIS SHIT ALL THE WAY UP YEEEEEE HAH!

Bet this office ain’t never seen the likes of me. Hells ya, bitches. Time to lose it, go crazy oh baby oh baby

Oopsies. There’s goes a partner.* Eeep.

*I swear I’m not making this up.

humor
I just threw up in my mouth a little
work
Single By Choice, damnit

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*18+ Only Please*

I'm Vix, a 27 year-old Texan. After 18 years of private education and 3 degrees, I'm trying to leave the corporate world behind to become a sex/humor writer and novelist. I'm sexy, funny, ugly, raw, and entirely real-- because there's more to me than being a blowjob queen.

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