Work It Dumbass, Work It
In light of new information today, I realized I made a huge dumbass of myself, and not in the way I had originally thought. Go to the link above first or else this won’t make much sense.A couple of my most loyal male readers pointed out that making a dumbass of myself is actually a blessing in disguise. Fumbling and bumbling about without the greatest of ease puts even the most amazing girl (which I wish I were arrogant enough to proclaim to be) within grasp of any nice guy.
It’s so easy to get intimidated by a member of the preferred sex (god forbid they be attractive on top of the overwhelming power of their mere existence), and especially at the beginning of a relationship because you don’t know her faults yet, and after some time apart spent fantasizing about all the wonderful things she is/could be—it’s just too much. You’ve built her up into being this amazing perfect person that you don’t have a shot in hell with.
Until you hear her stutter like a goddamn moron on your voicemail, take a step and a half toward you to talk, then turn around and bolt for a reason unbeknownst to you, and then hear from her friend that she’s just an idiot most of the time and don’t mind her you’ll get used to it.
Not a Misstep. Just a dumbass.
Sweet Cheeks just called me and asked what the fuck I said to Neighbor Guy last night because he thought I was coming up to talk and then I just turned around and walked off. He told Sweet Cheeks that I just decided to fuck it.
Fuck. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUFKC FUCKCKJCJKCJKJCK.
I DID NOT WANT TO FUCK IT I WANT TO FUCK HIM. Eventually. After establishing a nice normal adult relationship based on mutual respect and goals. THEN I WANT TO FUCK HIM. WHICH I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO DO BECAUSE I AM A BIG FAT FUCKING DUMBASS.
Did I seriously cock-block myself? I think I did. Whoopsies. Let’s hope he sees my misunderstanding/dumbassery is incredibly cute and endearing. If not, I’ll change tactics and just undo the top couple buttons on my shirt. Yeah. Good plan.
