The Over-Educated Nympho

I was beginning to think he was just being a tease. That he was using me until he found someone else, someone better. I thought it was over between us.

And I’m talking about work, of course.

After barely a word for weeks Hopeful Future New Boss talked to me yesterday about working on another account for him. I knew it was a pivotal moment in our relationship, and I had to do everything in my power to woo him.

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I am a HUGE fan of the clit piercing. I got mine for my twenty-first birthday years ago. Best present to myself EVER.

Half the sex appeal of the clit ring is that it’s a nice surprise the first time I’m with a guy. (Yes it is incredibly difficult keeping such a fun secret to myself, but it’s got satisfying pay-off later on.) Think about it: on the outside I’m a nice well-polished young woman, suitable for taking home to meet the parents. Then take my clothes off and there’s tattoos and piercings galore. Well not really galore, I don’t have a trashy number of body art–just enough to make my attitude clear.

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Less than two months ago I was delighted to break 200 as my record for number of visitors in one day. Today, the day I won “Best R-Rated Blog” in The Houston Press, I hit 350.

Sure, on any given day about 40% of my visitors find me through random google searches for “nympho bitches,” “pussy juice marking territory,” “bumpy itchy ass,” “so many bitches too little time dog shirt glamour dog” (#2 and 3 google), “I have a sex pookie,” “see ma nekkid,” and my favorite: “creative middle finger.” Yes, every single one of these is a search by which someone found and clicked on my site. (perverts, man, perverts everywhere*) But a couple must stick around because my daily visitors have steadily increased over the last year, so I dont care how people find me as long as they (ie the cool ones who aren’t staring at me through my fourth-floor window as we speak) stick around.

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