Best Lunch Hour Ever

Well, as great as a lunch hour can get without any canoodling.Last week there was one beautiful day. It dropped below ninety degrees (which is what I call the sweat-down-your-ass-crack breaking point) and it was so beautiful that I took a long lunch, went home, put on my bikini, and spent an hour outside at the pool.

I drank lemonade (yes I considered spiking it, but I figured between sun and booze I would probably fall asleep and show up back at the office at 3:30 in the afternoon, not good), I put on sunscreen, and I alternated between napping and reading an old issue of Cosmopolitan.

It was heavenly. And it was damn near impossible to take my sunny self back up to my apartment to change back into my work clothes and shoes. I was actually in a very foul mood for the rest of the afternoon because I was at work and not outside at the pool.

Hmm, so maybe it wasn’t the best way to go on my lunch break. Not that I won’t do it again, like, tomorrow.

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Single By Choice, damnit

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Online Dating?

I’ve been thinking about joining an online dating service. I’ve heard about other people (mainly other bloggers) doing it and it actually doesn’t sound as lame as it used to be. As long as I’m careful, of course. Fuckwits, douchebags, and stalkers need not apply.

I know I’ve said that I’m not ready for another relationship, but that doesn’t mean I can’t look around. Or get some nookie. Ooooh, that can be my screen name! Nookie Monster!!! WATCH OUT THE NOOKIE MONSTER IS COMING TO GET YOU!! —giggling so hard at own asinine-ness that tumbles off bed—

If nothing else, I figure doing this will provide loads of you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me stories to blog about.

Has anyone tried this? Any suggestions? Are any of the sites better than others? And most importantly, how do I keep away the freaks?

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humor
dating
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Single By Choice, damnit

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The Rules of Fuck Buddies: In Detail

I’ve already had a Rules of Fuck Buddies, but that post was more of an introduction to the fuck buddy concept. This post is meant to be about the particulars.

Sure everyone has their own set of rules for fuck buddies, some nicer and some harsher, but these are mine. Some may sound cold and objectifying, but these rules are intended to protect feelings–as ironic as that may seem. Listen to me, I speaketh the truth.

Reality check: the rules of boyfriends and the rules of fuck buddies are completely different. In no equation does B.F. equal F.B. Do not ever confuse them because that’s when feelings start to get hurt. Yes, fuck buddies have feelings too but you are only concerned about how his cock feels inside you, got it?

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*18+ Only Please*

I'm Vix, a 28 year-old Texan. After 18 years of private education and 3 degrees, I'm trying to leave the corporate world behind to become a sex/humor writer and novelist. I'm sexy, funny, ugly, raw, and entirely real-- because there's more to me than being a blowjob queen.

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