The Over-Educated Nympho

You’ve probably noticed I’m moody as hell. There will be whole weeks at a time, like now, when it’s anyone’s guess whether I’ll be happy, sad, pissed, or silent on any given day. (No, I’m not bipolar. Just good old-fashioned depressed. My psychiatrist already went through all that.)

My music preference has been wildly different day to day lately.

Spoon Everything Hits at Once
Snow Patrol Chasing Cars
Elefant Why
Craig Armstrong This Love
Sarah McLachlan Elsewhere
Ani Difranco Grey (one of my all-time favorite songs. sadly.)
Portishead Glorybox (#1 favorite song for ten years now)

Undisclosed Friend: You know SBCd, you may want to try that thing where you say something in your head and decide if you should really say it out loud before you say it.

The three-way war between my brain, The Pussy, and me. See all Triad posts here.

my brain
The uptight goody-goody “I told you so” one. No one likes it because it is the voice of reason and listening to the voice of reason is a good way not to get yourself laid. The snooty one preaching from a soapbox. Very uptight. Clearly needs to get laid. It’s not right nearly as often as it thinks it is.

The Pussy
The most powerful one. She is very very very scary. And sassy. And intimidating. Yeah, She’s really just one helluva mean motherfucker. It is best not to upset Her.

Continue Reading »

If you haven’t already, read this first before continuing so you understand the background before witnessing a Celebrity Death Match among the Triad, ie The Pussy, my brain, and me.

my brain: Dude. What the fuck.
The Pussy: What what the fuck? What are you talking about?
my brain: We’re concerned.
Me: And itchy as hell, thank you.
The Pussy: What the fuck are you talking about?
my brain: You bullied us into sex. And it backfired. Big time. Bitch.
Me: I’ve been bathing in wine and sleeping in Xanax since last Saturday. That’s not good.
The Pussy: And that’s MY fault?! You were all for the sex! I sure as fuck didn’t hear anyone complaining when I was cumming for the fifth time the other night. You bitches can fuck off.
My brain: Nuh uh. We’ve been single for only five weeks and you’re already fucking shit up.

Continue Reading »

This scene, with slight variations, has happened to me several times over the last couple weeks at bars or at the pool.

Sketchy Dumbass Guy I just met: Hey I�m [generic guy name]. —his eyes scan up and down— I like your dress/bikini/skirt/”eyes.”
Me: Thanks.? I�m [OEN].
Sketchy Dumbass Guy: So� —eyes continue scanning up and down, more slowly this time— What�s your story? What do you do?
Me: I�m a [member of respectable profession].
Sketchy Dumbass Guy: You�re a [member of respectable profession]?! Really?
Me: Yes. And I went to prep school and private university and have a couple degrees. In fact, it�s very likely that I�m much smarter than you.
Sketchy Dumbass Guy: —-
Me: Yeah. Just because I�m wearing a short skirt doesn�t mean I�m a ditz. It just means I like wearing short skirts.
Sketchy Dumbass Guy: I didn�t—-
Me: Yeah. I know. Excuse me, I have to go find my friends.

Continue Reading »