Maybe I’m Not Doing So Well After All
Ever since the break-up I’ve pretty much been all smiles. For the first couple weeks I really WAS smiles. I felt bad on BF’s behalf, but personally I felt great. Relieved. Free.
Not so much lately. And it has almost nothing to do with BF, or any of the guys I’ve dated since the break-up, or guys in general. No, it’s all about me, and not in the fun way.
Maybe I should stop trying so hard to appear happy. Maybe that’s the problem. Maybe I should frown or sneer whenever I damn well feel like it. I’m hurting on the inside, and it’s not something simple to point to like the break-up or a broken heart. It goes so much further than that, it’s got deep roots, which is what makes it so much harder to deal with. How do you attack a problem when it has fourteen different sides to it jutting out at all sorts of bizarre angles? How do you turn that frown upside-fucking-down when you don’t know what is wrong to begin with?
