Meeting Apt #5

Saturday afternoon I met Sweet Cheeks and Blondie at the apartment pool. I had begged Blondie to call up her Ex and bring his friends over so we could finish what we had started last weekend, hopefully without the triple cock block this time, but she refused and said she needed a girls-only day. Hmph. Easy for her to say, she’s been getting laid.

And so I attempted to drown my poor frustrated cooch with a pitcher of homemade (read: strong) sangria and a full cooler of beer.

Which is why when a hot straight guy came to the pool I honed in on him with the stubborn devil-be-damned determination that only occurs with an aching pussy and inebriation.

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sex
humor
stop pissing me off
singledom
Single By Choice, damnit
dumbasses, douchebags, and fuckwits

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Apt #31 Gets Benched

The hot Jamaican guy in apartment #31 is off my batting line-up. The other day I was walking past his apartment and I noticed there was a sign taped to the very top of the door. It read CAUTION: HOT.

Oh. my. god.

You don’t tape a goddamn sign advertising your hotness on your front door. Unless you’re the fat freshman kid in a college dorm. Except that would be funny.

I’m guessing that Jamaican Guy is the sort of guy who thinks of himself when he’s jerking off.

Yeah. He’s benched.

humor
Single By Choice, damnit
dumbasses, douchebags, and fuckwits
the boys, the players

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I'm Vix, a 28 year-old Texan. After 18 years of private education and 3 degrees, I'm trying to leave the corporate world behind to become a sex/humor writer and novelist. I'm sexy, funny, ugly, raw, and entirely real-- because there's more to me than being a blowjob queen.

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