Bah chi chi wah WAH

I think I’m getting laid on Thursday. Yes, it’s looking very promising.

I just got a call from a guy who chased me down in a pizza place last week–he kept hitting on me even though I kept smacking him down, and in front of his friends, but goddamnit that boy was persistent and finally I relented and took his phone number. Which I then called this afternoon.

Ok, yes, I admit I’m not sure I would have called him today if it weren’t for the fact I’M SO FUCKING HORNY THAT MY PUSSY JUICES COULD DROWN ME IN MY SLEEP.

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sex
humor
dating
singledom
Single By Choice, damnit
dumbasses, douchebags, and fuckwits

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Take Lunch Off & Get Off

I’m loving my new apartment that is only eight minutes from work. Yuh huh you know what I’m talking about

Masturbation breaks!!! WOOOO HOOOOOOO!!

Fuck lunch, man. As far as I’m concerned from now on lunch breaks are for getting off and I’ll eat a damn Powerbar in the car on my drive back.

Yeah, it pretty much went down like this: got home, played with dogs for exactly three and a half minutes while preparing Easy Mac (must not waste precious time on picking up or preparing real food), undid belt, pulled down pants, threw back huge forkfuls of neon yellow “food” concoction, dug out favorite vibrator (of the fifty moving boxes, this is the one I kept my eyes on at all times so as not to be misplaced (eek, or opened) during the move) and reading material (Penthouse Forum, yeah baby!), and literally kicked dogs out of bedroom. I had twenty-five minutes to get busy as many times as possible.

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sex
becoming a nympho
humor
work
stop pissing me off

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It Only Takes One Idiot to Perform a Triple Cock Block

I wish I could tell you I haven’t posted in a couple days because I’ve been entirely too busy having loads of fantastic post-break-up sex with a super hot stranger whose name I admit I don’t care to remember. But no. I just don’t have internet. That’s all. There has been NO SEX getting in the way of my beloved blog writing. NONE. AND I AM VERY VERY ANGRY ABOUT THIS.

Friday I was counting on some lunch-time hooking up with Hot CoWorker. Didn’t happen because he’s got a severe case of Fuckwit that no one knows how to treat, to my great concern. My pussy sent him a lovely bouquet of Forget-to-Fuck-Me-Nots.

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humor
stop pissing me off
singledom
Single By Choice, damnit
dumbasses, douchebags, and fuckwits

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*18+ Only Please*

I'm Vix, a 28 year-old Texan. After 18 years of private education and 3 degrees, I'm trying to leave the corporate world behind to become a sex/humor writer and novelist. I'm sexy, funny, ugly, raw, and entirely real-- because there's more to me than being a blowjob queen.

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