Preparations

I stopped at the liquor store on my way home from work. I picked out three bottles of vodka (Skyy regular, Svedka vanilla, and Tito’s (good shit made right here in Texas)) and took them to the register.

Clerk: You having a vodka-tasting party?
Me: No. I’m breaking up with my boyfriend this weekend.
Clerk: Really?
Me: Yeah. The big bottle is for him, the small bottle is for me, and this bottle is for my friends so that they can keep up with me.
Clerk: —
Me: —
Clerk: You want a complimentary shot?
Me: Yeah.
[Clerk opens a cooler under the register, pulls out a small bottle of vodka, and pours me a shot ]
Me: You’re a good man.
[I swallow the shot and wince]
Clerk: $67.57. Good luck this weekend.
Me: Thanks, buddy. I appreciate it.