10 Reasons I Haven’t Posted in a Week
- Working did kill me. And Mom thought I was lying. probability rating: 3
- They broke my spirit. This is actually the first time in a week they’ve let me come home. They made me sleep under my desk with software manuals supporting my head as a pillow. I bathed in the fountain in the courtyard, fishing coins out so I could buy cokes from the vending machine, my only source of much-needed calories so I had the energy to work more. I insisted that my previous job had already broken my spirit, but they said I smiled too often which indicated that there was still hope in my heart, which would only keep me from fully giving my soul to the profession. probability rating: 5
- The MOM has forced me to spend all my non-working hours in a cold dark corner reading up on all the essential professional books to ensure that I will pass my exams–when I eventually qualify to take them. probability rating: 6
- Not getting my regular daily afternoon nap means that by the time I get home I’m entirely too tired, dull, pissy to touch another fucking computer, let alone come up with anything remotely amusing. probability rating: 9
- Have been in therapy with Dr. Xanax trying to figure out what to bitch about now that I’ve graduated and actually have a respectable job in my field of choice. probability rating: 2 (come on, now! my new job will be an endless source of bitching! MWAHAHAHA)
Ok, um, there are more, I promise, but the thing is –pausing to shake head and roll eyes at major inconvenience of responsibility– I have to go to work now.
Dude. Work can SO suck my left one.
