The Over-Educated Nympho

Check out my stat counter–I’m almost at 1000! How exciting, especially since I’ve been blogging for only three weeks. I may even hit 1000 tonight…. I can just imagine it: BF and I will be watching tv while at the kitchen table each on our laptops, he’ll keep asking me stuff, I’ll ignore him, he’ll think I’m mad at him, I won’t even hear him because I’m so busy hitting the browser Refresh button every five seconds, then it will finally happen and I’ll jump up and down and make a big deal and because it’s now over, I’ll be sad, and coming up with gimmicks and forums to join so I can get to 2000 in less than three weeks….

But seriously, where did all of you come from? Before the 4th of July I was only averaging forty visitors a day, and then for the last three days it’s been 100 a day! I LOVE IT!!!!! yippeeee, pay attention to me!!! read me!!!

And you know what that means, don’t you? I’m getting needy. Like this one time a guy kept waiting for me to call him for days (haha, we do it too!), then when I finally did and we went out he was being all possessive of me until he noticed I had a faded phone number written on my forearm from a guy I met the night before. And that actually did not go where I was trying to go, so let’s start over:

I love each and every one of you who come to read me, whether it be once or three times a day like I do to WSK, so when she doesn’t post every day I take it personally and feel hurt and a little lost inside, and then the pouting begins.* One time this happened and BF saw me sad at the computer so he asked me what was wrong, and I looked like a sad little girl when I told him “Witty Sex Kitten didn’t write today!” Then BF, the asshole, has NO sympathy for me. Hmph. He just doesn’t understand.

Again–(I did mention before how bad I am about jumping topics, general disregard for punctuation and even grammar? Yeah, it’s part of what makes me so damn CHARMING (that and my firm ass)) let’s try to get back to my PR bit:

Since I am whole-heartedly devoted to each and every reader (especially the one old woman living in a convent in Southern France whom emailed me asking to define masturbation and is it really a sin? A big one or just a little one?), I am happy to write about topics you are interested in, instruct one on how to talk dirty, how to apply to grad school (I’m well rounded, see! I learned more in college than just sex and drinking games!), how to scare away your stalker, etc. I welcome any and all suggestions, especially since my site is still a newborn with plenty of room to grow into the fucked-up woman I want her to be so that one day I can tell her, Back in myday, we had to DRIVE to therapy! we had to make up stories and grovel for semi-legal pills! You don’t know how lucky you are to have had a Xanax dispenser right in your crib!

Soooooo… yeah. love ya! xoxoxoxoxo

*note to WSK: I’m not really taking it personally. I’m not giving you a hard time to push you to writing all day long for the sake of my entertainment. Although, you know, if you WANTED to do that, I’d be cool with it. Way cool. I mean lots of people don’t pass the Bar the first time around, so don’t pressure yourself too much sweetie.
**shit. Did I just totally blow my chances of ever having hot cyber sex with my darling WSK? shit shit shit. And now I’m pouting again.