The Over-Educated Nympho

A reader recently emailed me asking for advice, and I thought Wouldn’t it be cool if people could post sex/relationship/dating questions? Eventually I’ll make it so that the advice posts are seperate from regular posts, but I’m still figuring out all this html stuff. I’m all about respecting privacy, so names and such will remain confidential.

This guy I have been dating for about a month now just called to tell me that he can’t date me anymore because he is 31 and wants kids, I am 23 and still trying to get a degree, AND I don’t know if I want kids.

This is the SECOND time this has happened to me. :o(

I mean, I’m not crying over here, but he is nice and fun and a cop and a former Navy medic and writing a book and stuff. He’s a really cool guy. But, again, my uncertain future has ruined things. I guess it wasn’t meant to be.

Good thing is, he still wants to be just friends. And this guy means it, it’s not the cliche kind of dealio where the guy says “Yeah we can still be friends…” *click* You know? I’ve had that happen to me, hahaha… ANYway, so I guess I am looking forward to being his friend, but I know that if he was like, “I’ve got a date now,” that I’d be all jealous and weird about it. Probably because I didn’t know him before we started dating.

So there ya have it.

Bummer! But you know what, he’s probably right. I’m sure you don’t want to hear that, but I think he’s doing what’s best given the situation. He’s 31 and it sounds like he’s looking to settle down, get married, have kids. You’re only 23! Who’s ready for that at 23??!! (I’m 25, so I’m in the same boat… my boyfriend even brought up marriage (again) a few days ago and I was like Yeah.. later… that’d be great… later…)) So you might as well end it now before you get really attached and then he says Where is this going? And you say Ummm and he says Let’s get married and you say Ummm… And you say you’ve been in this situation before, so it was probably the same thing then too, he was older and therefore looking to settle down.

I’ve also always preferred older guys because that’s what you gotta do to compensate for the maturity difference between genders (–sigh– boys are so dumb). The problem is you can’t overshoot with the age because then you get guys who are of marrying age, and that’s just a big fat problem.

It sounds like there’s a good chance that you two can be friends, which is a good idea because older friends give good advice and you can kind of live vicariously trhough them while they go through career and life stuff that you’re too young for. Yes, it will be hard at first because of the whole sexual attraction thing, so it’s probably a good idea that you have a policy between you two that you not discuss anyone you’re dating for a couple months until you get over each other properly. And sleeping with someone else accelerates this process, by the way. –wink wink–