Assholes Need Not Apply
Every straight girl has a list of criteria for A Perfect Man. This list often reads like a personal ad: “must be smart, funny, Protestant, and plan on being a stock broker in the Northeast. Romantic walks on beach a must. Bonus if like breeding cats.” Except when I was in high school and college, the lists of criteria were way more out there. “Must speak five languages and run marathons.” “Be non-smoker but not mind if I smoke two packs a day.” “Must be vegan and have been in military.” “Prep school and Ivy-League education required, not be too caught up in himself. He’s a mama’s boy who knows how to treat a woman. ie like a princess who only accepts presents that sparkle.”
I will admit I’ve had some bizarre criteria myself–must aspire to be famous B&W photographer, plans to travel to every famous foreign art museum, cooks large gourmet meals while singing Italian operettas in a perfect accent, doesn’t mind my excessive and often creative cursing. I fully admit to my former dumbass-ness.
